MEMORY #1 – COWSHED AFFAIR

Once upon a time, far far away, there was a small village, and in this small village, there was a small cowshed, and in this small cowshed, there was a small cow. The cow was quite small, if we compare it with other cows of a similar age. If the cow were a female, this female would be one hundred and thirty-five centimeters tall (with shoes). Nevertheless, cows don't wear shoes, so the cow was a little smaller than this hypothetical female (if this female were a cow). The picture below shows (from left) a woman of an average height (with high heel shoes), a small woman (with high heel shoes), a cow of an average height (without high heel shoes), and s small cow (without high hell shoes). In spite of the fact there were no remarks of high heel shoes earlier in the text (just shoes), this picture can clarify this topic, even though the picture is not accurate because of different kinds of shoes used. Nevertheless, the cow on the right should provide an idea of the height of the cow in the small cowshed in the small village.

What is also interesting is the size of the cowshed, if we compare this particular cowshed with average cowsheds. Similarly, the size of the village, compared with other villages (at the specific point of time and specific location), is below average. 

Apart from this small cow in the small cowshed in the small village there was also Zaida. Zaida was a pregnant prostitute and the father of her child was unknown, so she decided to give a birth to the baby in the cowshed and then she wanted to get rid of the baby. When the baby was born, she took it to the river and threw it into the water. Then she went away.

In the same village but in the different cowshed there was another woman – Zoey. Zoey was also pregnant but she decided to keep her baby even though the father of the baby was also “unknown”. The father of the baby was the mayor of this village, Vincent Hefferszisch, who was happily married, which is why there is written “father unknown” in the birth certificate.

When the baby was born, everyone around the baby was shocked by the appearance of the newborn baby. The baby has something between green and purple color, its eyes were deep in the head and the head itself had a very strange irregular shape resembling a rotten potato. It was definitely the ugliest baby they have ever seen, so everyone apologized and quickly left the room, only the mother remained with her baby.

“Oh, you are so beautiful my little baby, you are really a gift from God, I will give you name Vincent, after your father,” the mother said.

Poor Vincent had not very happy childhood – almost nobody wanted to play with him because he was so ugly. The only friend he had was Sheeny – a very nice and beautiful girl. Vincent liked her very much and they spent a lot of time together – Vincent, Sheeny and her guide-dog Russell. They used to play together; their favorite game was the blind man’s bluff.

Because Vincent liked her very much, he promised, “You know Sheeny, I will do everything to heal your bad eyesight, I promise.”

When Vincent was eighteen, he decided to leave his home – partly because nobody liked him and partly because of the promise he’s made. He wanted to find a potion for Sheeny that could heal her.

“Goodbye Sheeny, my only friend. You are the only one who really likes me. I will dedicate my life to you. One happy day we will meet again, and I will have a cure for you to heal your beautiful blue eyes,” Vincent said.

“Goodbye Vincent, my hero. Take care of yourself, I’ll be thinking of you! Take this ring, my grand-grandfather had stolen it and then he gave it to my grandfather and my grandfather gave it to my father and my father gave it to me. I want you to have it. It will protect you from everything bad,” Sheeny said.

“Goodbye Russell,” Vincent said.

“Woof,” Russell barked.

“Goodbye Sheeny, I love you,” Vincent said to himself.